These Children, They Are Not (And Yet They Are) Your Children….

At the Watertown Early Childhood Education Faire

At the Watertown Early Childhood Education Faire

I always enjoy the Watertown Early Childhood Education Faire. A school cafeteria packed to the brim with educators, caregivers, parents, babies, and small kids is a room packed to the brim with hope and possibility. This year I was splitting my time between promoting Vacation Garden School and supporting the Girl Scouts who were doing a craft with the little ones, which made the adventure doubly fun.

As I watched parents gathering brochures and signing up for mailing lists, I thought about how many decisions parents and caregivers make, and how hard those decisions feel. This preschool or that one? Computer camp or soccer camp or just give the kid a break? Each decision can feel monumental, as though an entirely different future will unfold on this path, versus the other.

And sometimes it does. Sometimes a child’s life goes one way or another based on the day camp, the playdate or the movie, for better or worse. And sometimes it doesn’t: it’s just another playdate or day camp or movie. Parenting is a spiritual practice of holding responsibility with grace and care, while learning to reconcile oneself to what one cannot control. Twelve years into this vocation of parenting, I am still learning this practice. In the meantime, I’ll make some seed art, eat some Thin Mints, and watch in wonder as my children become who they are, partly in response to decisions I’ve made, and partly due to a providence way beyond my understanding.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Fire and Ice(dams)

photo (97)Like most of you reading this — well, at least those in New England — I’ve been too busy to do much blogging recently. My creative and expressive juices were dried up by days of just trying to navigate narrow streets and find a place to park, discern the appropriate level of concern/urgency/panic based on the latest forecast, and attend to children whose school days were cancelled again and again and again.

I love winter. I grew up going skiing in Michigan every February. I have beloved memories of walking across Madison, Wisconsin on a silent, snow-covered night. I adore a good winter retreat — brisk walks through the woods or out onto an ice-covered lake, followed by cocoa near a fire.

But this one has been taxing, even for me. We broke a record yesterday: now it’s officially the 2nd snowiest winter on record in the Boston area. Huzzah.

I do want to share one beautiful moment, however. The photo above is from Shrove Tuesday, when we burned last year’s palms to make ashes for our Ash Wednesday liturgy. This is always a beautiful moment. But this year, a small group of us gathered at dusk around our church’s “holy hibatchi,” which had been dug out of it two-foot snowcone for our use. The wall of snow on all sides muffled the sound of our laughter and our prayers, creating a comforting cushion around us. The reflection of the fire on the snow was simply stunning, a reminder that the Holy Spirit comes to warm and purify and ignite us, even when ice dams threaten to take over our homes and our souls.

Come, Holy Spirit, burn brightly in our tired and frostbitten community. Warm our hearts through this holy season of Lent, and spark in us new joy and unexpected transformation.

Posted in Churchy Stuff, Prayer | Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

People got polite

photo (92)I always love the Watertown Unity Breakfast on MLK Day. And I always find that the most memorable and inspiring offerings are from the young people. This year was no exception. A group of middle school students performed a rap against racism they had composed. So beautiful. So direct.

The rap recounts Dr. King’s life and work, then moves on to challenge us to live into the legacy. At one point in their telling of the story of the civil rights struggle, the students summarized the early progress made with the phrase, “People got polite.” Yes, it really was (still is) about common human decency.

This great phrase brought to mind conversations I’ve had with my own middle school children, whose response to the ongoing injustices and indecencies they hear about and see around them is incredulity. “What’s wrong with people?” I’ve heard them say on more than one occasion. How would you respond? What is wrong with people?

“People got polite” also brought to mind the words of the great Jewish philosopher Martin Buber, who called us to move from I-It relationships to I-Thou relationships. To see the other as fully worthy of being, a full partner in the gift and challenge of life, good and valuable without reference to my needs or my subjectivities.

Thanks to those who wrote and offered the rap. Thanks to all those who are speaking, singing, marching, and working for a better future for all God’s children. Let’s get polite, and just, and peaceful, and together.

Posted in Community, Watertown | Tagged , , , , , ,


Mother and child taking a break from holiday shopping.

Mother and child taking a break from holiday shopping.

Sitting quietly in the midst of the holiday hub-bub, while sugary holiday songs wafted through the air around her, this mother sat feeding her baby at the Arsenal Mall — I mean “Project.” Her centeredness was so beautiful. It felt like a gift in the midst of an atmosphere engineered to make me restless, designed to make me feel like I need more. She conveyed contentedness and presence.

There are some good books on parenting. But in the end, one learns to be a parent by parenting. One gathers the inner strength needed to get through the sleepless nights and put up with the spit and poop and other glop by simply putting up with it. Experience is the best professor, in parenting, and in so much in life, including prayer.

I met recently with some colleagues who had both read a good book about prayer. They traded favorite quotes and teachings from the book. Clearly it had made an impression. I’ve read some good books about prayer, too, but I chose not to join in the conversation. I think I’ve learned more about prayer from praying, and from being with people who have more experience than I with it. Chief among them are the brothers of SSJE, an Episcopal monastery in Cambridge. The brothers’ entire life is prayer, ordered around corporate prayer, which they offer to God at set times all through the day. Every day. Day after day. They are a living book on prayer.

During Advent, they invite us to pray with them through an online Advent calendar. Each day, they invite us to meditate on a different word, using an image and a short quotation from one of the brothers’ sermons as a touchstone. Today’s word is “experience.” Check their website here or on Twitter, check #Experience #AdventWord to find out what they and others are hearing the Spirit say about experience.

Thank you to the mother in the mall (I mean “project”), whose name I do not know. Thank you for being an icon through which God’s experience of being patient and caring and still with us was revealed. Thanks for being part of my experience.

Posted in Churchy Stuff, Parenting & Spiritual Life, Prayer, Watertown | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Keep on Walking in Circles

photo (51)One of my favorite songs from back in the day is called “We’re Gonna Keep on Walking Forward.” It’s a great song for replenishing your courage in the midst of work for justice or positive change of any kind. Singing it with friends and colleagues, slowly and in four-part harmony, always makes my heart sing. Here’s the version I know.

But there are times when I feel like I’m walking in circles. Or that our society is walking in circles. Are we making any progress? Am I “achieving” anything of note? Making a difference at all? Certainly the news of recent weeks makes gives me pause. Are we a better society than the ones our ancestors crossed oceans to escape? Am I any more self-aware or open-hearted than I was as a youth?

I was glad on Saturday to have the chance to walk a labyrinth, which we brought to our parish and incorporated into our Advent Quiet Day. In a labyrinth, you can’t get lost. But you do need to keep going. “It is solved by walking,” as the ancient phrase goes. I walked slowly, letting my mind travel back to many other places I’ve walked in my life: walks on the beach of Lake Michigan, walks around the rim of a volcano in Kenya, protest marches, walks across a snowy city in Wisconsin, AIDS walks. So many steps, each one bringing me closer to this moment, this decision-point. Where will I walk next?

The labyrinth feels true to my experience. Around and around we go in life and as a society. But the labyrinth is a path, and the journey itself holds blessing. To sit it out would be sad – maybe sinful, even. I will “keep on walking forward,” inviting as wide an array of people to accompany me as possible. But I will anticipate some twists and turns, and I will seek to make sure no one gets left behind on the journey.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , ,

The Fog of Peace

Not much of a view from the top of Palfrey.

Not much of a view from the top of Palfrey.

I took this picture at the crest of Palfrey Street last week, on one of those really foggy mornings. The weather obscured the normal view from this perch. You can’t see the steeple of Redeemer Fellowship down the hill. You can’t see the rooftops of various industrial buildings farther off. You can’t see them, but they are still there.

It’s easy to walk around Watertown these days and believe that we’re living in a time of peace. Christmas tunes fill the hallways at the Arsenal Mall. Kids are laughing and enjoying video games at the public library. Folks are eating pancakes at the Town Diner or stocking up on Armenian baked goods for the holiday weekend.

But all is not well in the world, and we know it. We know about Ferguson. We know about Aleppo and Gaza and lots of other places of devastation. We know about the impact of political stalemate on our stalled and increasingly restless, divided nation. It is a false peace. How do we live honestly and faithfully within the fog of peace?

Here are a few possibilities for your consideration. They are all forms of “showing up.” First, show up to the news reports. It’s tempting to change the channel/turn the page/click on something less meaty. Resist the urge. Stay with it. Learn the facts, the stories, see the faces. Then take this into your prayer.

Second, show up for creative, non-violent protest of injustice. We live in a time when things need disrupting. Perspectives need changing. All sorts of interesting possibilities are being workshopped. Show up. Learn. Speak up.

Third, show up in places where people can cut through the fog in conversation. This might be a recovery group. It might be Blue Christmas service. It might be a cup of coffee with someone from another faith tradition or culture.

How are you cutting through the fog of peace? Share your story so we can learn from it.


Posted in Churchy Stuff, Prayer, Uncategorized, Watertown | Tagged , , , , , ,

Write down this phone number

Celebrating a year of doing great work

Celebrating a year of doing great work

A while back, I was reflecting with some folks in my parish about the language we use when we pray in church. One woman said that she finds it awkward to pray for “the poor, the lonely, the sick, and those in need.” She wisely reflected, “Who isn’t lonely, to some degree? Who isn’t sick or needy in some way or another?” Being human means carrying an ever-changing complexity of conditions all the time. And being a person of faith — any faith — means understanding yourself to be implicated in your neighbor’s suffering, loneliness, or poverty, and saying yes to the call to respond.

Praying in and alongside of suffering is important. But knowing where to refer someone who needs tangible help or expert care  is also important. A year ago, Watertown took a great leap forward by hiring a Social Services Resource Specialist named Danielle DeMoss. I met Danielle early on, and I keep her phone number right next to the phone in the church office. She is the go-to person when someone needs help and I’m not sure how to help them. If you live in Watertown, check this link and put Danielle’s number in your phone now!

The need for affordable shelter, food, mental health services, financial assistance, and other services is growing, growing, growing. The complexity of need is growing, too. I hope funding for Danielle’s position is at least maintained, ideally increased. I hope that all of us, when we go to the polls on Tuesday, cast votes that work for the relief of suffering rather than its perpetuation. And I pray that, even in the midst of our own personal hardships, we can link arms with those who truly need a boost to stay upright.

Posted in Churchy Stuff, Community, Watertown | Tagged , , , , ,